It has taken many years and much practice for me to learn what healthy boundaries are and how to set them. I can say, today I am more comfortable setting them and standing firm without much guilt, especially when I can tell I am being manipulated. Sure, on occasion, I still struggle with them, especially when it comes to my children, but even then, I can and have set the boundaries.
Over the past couple of weeks, major boundaries have been set in my life and it just blows my mind that someone feels, at any given time, those boundaries can be broken. I know of several reasons for this:
- I never could set boundaries in my past (I’m talking years ago)
- I struggled with guilt when I did
- People seem to take my quietness or forgiveness as weakness
- I have allowed people to underestimate me
- Those that know of my past think I have not really learned from it
- Some people are just takers and manipulators and think the world evolves around them and they can have or do anything they want without consequences
The list goes on and on. However, I have news for them; I AM NOT WEAK ANY LONGER!
I am in charge of my own life! I am stronger than I have ever been! I know how to take care of myself financially, emotionally and physically! Hell, I replaced two bathroom toilets, that has to say something. Hahaha
I had to laugh the other night because I was told that if I was broken down on the side of the road and I called someone in particular, this person would tell me to call someone else. I truly was amused by that and I think it shocked this person. Are you really serious? Like I don’t have a hundred other people in my life to call? You think I so desperately need you that you are the only person I could turn to in times of need? I find humor in that. Really, I do! Yet, this same person speaks to others boldly about how they can come back into my life at anytime they chose. Well, sorry about your luck but the boundaries have been set.
I am so comfortable with the boundaries and so secure in my decisions that I can’t wait for this person to try. I welcome the challenge; I actually look forward to it. I know, maybe that in itself is not healthy but it’s the way I feel today…my truth.
To these people who think I am weak or a push-over, I am not. My boundaries are so healthy right now and I hope they enjoy the crash when they hit them!
If you have problems setting healthy boundaries, I encourage you to keep doing it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. The more you do, the easier it gets, and the stronger you become!