On Monday I received an instant message on Facebook from my younger half-sister saying she would like to see me and have coffee or lunch the following day. My sister is 31 years younger than me and we have never really had any kind of relationship, so I was absolutely shocked. I responded that of course I would love to meet up with her but my mind was spinning as to why she would ask. Was something wrong with Dad? Was she mad at me about something? Then I thought, “Oh Lord, maybe she is reading my book and something pissed her off.”
Later she messaged me and we agreed to meet for lunch at Applebee’s. I just had to ask…”Is everything ok?”, before I lost my mind. She said everything was fine but that she had been reading my book and wanted to get some things off her chest and that my book had opened her eyes to a lot of things. I told her there may be something that pisses her off in the book but to please remember that these are my issues and not anyone else’s. She said she would not be mad but that she just wanted to reach out and start mending our sister relationship now that she is older and understands more of how we got to where we are.
WOW! I was and still am, blown away!
We met for lunch and I just have to tell you what an absolutely AMAZING time we had! I think our waitress was a bit frustrated with us as we were too busy talking to look at the menu. We talked about how different our lives were growing up with the same father. My father was strict and harsh but 31 years later, her father was more tolerant and engaged.
Reading my book helped her to see me and my life differently and understand the reason I struggle with the interactions with my father, his wife and children. I love them but we come from two very different universes so to say, so interacting with them was different and uncomfortable. She admitted that she had become angry with me for not wanting to be around them and had finally come to the point where she didn’t want me around. I explained that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be round, but that it was painful at times to see this different family.
Oh how amazing is the work of God!
She never understood how different life was for me and reading my book opened her eyes. It helped her to understand and relate to me on a different level. Just as I had expectations of my father and what our relationship should look like, I’m sure she had expectations of me as her sister that I continually failed to meet. Putting aside the expectations and accepting the person for who they are is enlightening and freeing.
I am so excited to begin to get to know this beautiful young lady and what a blessing it is to have this opportunity to begin a “real” relationship with my little sister!
If you’re struggling with a relationship, reach out to that person and make some time to talk. Be open and honest and you may be surprised at the outcome.
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