Inside Out Challenge – Day 1

The biggest lie you ever told

Well it just sucks that this is the topic for the very first day. No warming up, no easing into it, just straight to the point from the get go. So I had to ponder about this one… a lot.

I could tell you about the time I lied to my mom about my purse and FFA (Future Farmers of America) jacket being stolen at the County Fair. This comes to mind because at that time, I do believe it was the biggest lie I ever told. I was 15 at the time and I didn’t often lie to my mother, especially such a BIG lie. The truth was (is), my friend and I left the fair after showing our animals, with some boys, in a car, and went to go do some drinking down at the river, behind the fairgrounds. The car got stuck in the field and then caught on fire. Yep, it was a pretty big lie and yes, I did get caught.

I could tell you about the time I lied to my mom when she said to me, “Don’t ever marry him”. I straight lied and said, “I won’t” because I didn’t want to tell her that I already did. Yeah, you know the old saying, “The truth will be revealed”, and it was.

You see, I’m a horrible liar. My mother told me long ago that she could always tell when I was lying because I talk too much. I get nervous when I lie and then I just keep making the story bigger and bigger, trying to over explain. And of course, there’s the guilt, so I talk more trying to appease my guilt.

However, since I have to pick the BIGGEST LIE I’ve ever told, I would have to say it was actually a non-verbal lie. Well, no it wasn’t. It was usually a single word lie. The biggest lie was my life. People would ask me every day, “How’s it going?”, or “How are you doing today?”, or “How’s life?”, and I would respond with a smile and a variety of one word responses:

Great! Awesome! Wonderful! Amazing! Fine! Perfect! Excellent!

Every single one of those one word lies were used to cover up the massive ball of chaos my life had become. Those one word lies were actually some of the BIGGEST LIES I have ever told. They kept me from talking too much and kept me from letting anyone one in. They also kept me weak and afraid.

Well, you can only lie so much before it eventually catches up with you. The consequences vary. “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” ~ Luke 8:17

Today I live as truthfully and honestly as I can. I don’t like the feeling I get when I lie and I certainly don’t like the consequences. I have found that I am no longer afraid of being honest and truthful. Disclaimer: I am still codependent so I may dance around it a bit, or try to soften it, or even dodge it a little.