The process of learning about myself, dealing with past hurts, forgiving others and accepting forgiveness, has been a long and sometimes hard road. There were many tears upon this journey and much stumbling. However, I had a choice: stay in the sickness, pain, chaos and ugliness or learn, grow and change. I obviously chose the latter and have no regrets about my past. I am not proud of my past but I would not be the woman I am today had I not gone through these things.
In the past 7 years, I have had many, many, many trials, heartaches, hurts and still some bad choices. However, I see them, react to them and handle them differently. I know how to take my emotions out of it (not deny them) and not just react without thinking and processing what is going on in my head and my heart.
I was asked ,by a few people, why I was putting it all out there, if I felt I needed some more healing from it and if I was worried about any backlash. Well, the simple truth is NO. I do not feel I need anymore healing in these areas and I am not worried about the backlash, if any comes my way. This is my story; how I saw and see my life today. I pray no one is hurt or offended by it in anyway. I did it because I want to be real with others. I want to encourage others that no matter what has happened in their life, there is forgiveness and hope for a more peaceful and joyful life. I want to encourage others not to give up, ever! God WILL make a way! I want others to see that I’m not perfect and I don’t have it all together. I want to be relatable. How can I encourage anyone if they can not find something in me to relate to.
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:4
So let me re-introduce myself…My name is Terri and I am a beautiful, wonderful and amazing child of God.
That’s the way He sees me and that’s the woman He created, so how can I say anything else? I am not perfect nor do I want to be. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. If someone chooses to judge me for what I have posted then I would like to refer them to this post.
Today, my relationships with my children have been restored and the love and respect they shower upon me is more than I could have ever imagined. I am a grandmother to a beautiful little girl, who fills my life with so much joy, fun and happiness. I am in a healthy relationship and it is really amazing to watch myself walk through this one. My relationships are so amazingly different because I am so amazingly different.
I served for 4 years on a Celebrate Recovery Leadership Team. I have been blessed with the opportunity to sponsor several women and lead several Woman’s Step-Study groups which only helped me to grow more, strengthen my character, and love more on God’s hurting people. I have learned and experienced the blessings of forgiving and being forgiven. God used Celebrate Recovery to draw me closer into relationship with Him and has strengthened my faith in His plan for my life. It has taught me to live life on life’s terms and not be afraid.
One thing that got me through some of the toughest times was this line in the “Serenity Prayer”:
“You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will”.
I have learned to search for His will and find peace in the storms. I am no longer fearful of anything. I have faith, if it happens, it happens for a reason. I have faith that God’s plan for my life is amazing and fear has no place in my heart any longer.
I know that working the steps in my first year of recovery was hard but they prepared me to be able to stand and drawer closer to God while the storms of life were raging. There have been days that I have not made it through as gracefully as others but the wonderful relationships God has blessed me with, in all areas of my life, give me so much healing and support. I have practical and useful tools to help me make it through my days, one day at a time. I have been blessed with wonderful, caring, encouraging and supportive people in my life who are not afraid to call me on my crap. They accept me for who I am, not only when I am doing “great”, but also when life runs me over.
This is the Beauty of Who I Am!