Something I Don’t Remember

Hello my friends! I know, once again, it's been awhile. It's certainly not because my life has been boring lately, well it has been boring but at the same time, there has been so much happening. None of it has been fun or exciting. It has been pretty stressful but not in a codependent sense... Continue Reading →

Self Care: An Alien Concept To Codependents But An Essential Process

It is an alien concept and really uncomfortable at first but life changes when we do it!

Free From Codependency

selfloveFor anyone with codependent tendencies, self care is not a concept that comes easy.  Used to giving and not receiving, it can be difficult to turn that attention inward when needed. It is generally needed at all times, however in the process of recovery from narcissist abuse, it is essential. In therapy, it is something I try to encourage as much as possible  and help clients realise that it is more than just making themselves feel good. Healthy self care is not about escaping and distraction. It is not about impulsive behavior based on self pity.  It is about the basics and more.  If we look at the basics first:

Stephen R Covey wrote: “Feeling good doesn’t just happen.  Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It’s all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out…

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The Recovery Elevator Is Out Of Order

Reflecting today…I am so grateful for the journey!

Journey On Strong

Don’t you wish you could just get on the “recovery elevator”, push a button and be where you want to be in no time? I’d go straight for the top…healing, wellness, wholeness, happiness… within seconds. But alas, there is no such elevator, no such pill, no such magic. There is just the journey of each step, one step at a time, and the journey is what you make it.

Let me tell you about my stairs… When I began my journey, my stairway was long and windy and sometimes, dark and scary. There were days when I thought I’d never be able to make it to the next landing. I was focused on where I was going and where I wanted to be and not taking the time or spending the energy on the step I was on, and focusing on the moment. I tried skipping steps, jumping from…

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A Flower Blooms

Such a beautiful poem I had to share... So young; shy; quiet; her voice often lost on the wind. Reserved; withdrawn; lonely; her feelings often ignored. Broken; imperfect; defeated; her sense of self only an essence of what she could have been. Now, like a blooming flower, with the sunlight touching her soul; she will... Continue Reading →

Faith in Trouble

So beautifully written I had to share... Faith in trouble Senses the severity of the opposition Faith in trouble Calmly and prayerfully maintains its position Faith in trouble Gets up and goes to work Faith in trouble Doesn’t stop because it hurts Faith in trouble Believes when no one else does Faith in trouble Speaks... Continue Reading →

The Narcissist-Codependent Dance

I was stuck in this dance for many, many years but found the help I needed to get off and stay off the “dance floor”. Thank you Dr. Jenner for this post!

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr. They are the codependents who keep on giving. It is also very often the case that these people are either in or have been in a relationship with someone who has narcissist tendencies. In fact there are studies that suggest that they might even seek out such types.

There is a dance in codependency that involves the intimate relationship between codependents and narcissistic types. Codependents lack a healthy relationship with self. They are prone to put others first before their own needs. This is unhealthy.

Narcissists also have an unhealthy relationship with self. They put themselves above all else. They use others…

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