Today was another sad day of letting go of something so dear and precious to me and my children. Another opportunity to do the right thing and another chapter closed. Today my sweet Oreo went to "Doggie Heaven". We have had Oreo since she was 6 weeks old. An adorable Australian Shepherd, Chihuahua mix. She... Continue Reading →
What I Choose Today
My day has been much better today than it has been in a week. I have not cried once, though I did tear up a bit because I have to put one of my dear pets to sleep, but that's a story for another day. I still did not get much sleep but overall, I... Continue Reading →
Trusting that You will make all things right…
Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world As it is, not... Continue Reading →
I dropped ashes in my coffee…
I tried to get out of bed today and it made me cry. I thought about eating something and it made me cry. I though about what to do today and it made me cry. I tried to reach out and it made me cry. I dropped ashes in my coffee and it made me cry.... Continue Reading →
One of my biggest pet peeves…Manipulation
Please be forewarned...extreme rant ahead but there is a lesson. I spent most of my life being easily manipulated. As a codependent, I did not see it, understand it or really even care. My mission was to make you a happy. How easy it is to take advantage of someone who has no self-worth. But... Continue Reading →
It really doesn’t matter if you judge me…
Let's be real...I am who I am and I love who I am today. Still, I sometimes struggle with what others think about me when I know I shouldn't. Not too often anymore but like anything else, there are those low times. I know it stems from the conflicts within my own self at times of... Continue Reading →
Turning the Page
The last several months have been a pure roller coaster ride and I'm to the point I think I'm going to vomit. I need off and the only way to do that is to...you guessed it, "Get Off". Easier said then done sometimes, I know. Another long relationship has ended and it was coming for awhile.... Continue Reading →
So, how’s that working for you?
When you're in the rooms of recovery, any kind of recovery, they have a ton of sayings they call tools, to help you stay on or get back on track. This is one of my favorites! Yes, yes, I do ask myself this question, although it certainly is more fun when I get to ask someone... Continue Reading →
Webster’s Definition
Webster's Dictionary defines codependency as "a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); broadly: dependence on the needs of or control by another." Well that stings. Seeing the words "Psychological condition" just makes... Continue Reading →
The Answer
Someone recently asked me how I deal with my "qualifier" drinking now. When we met, he wasn't drinking and was actively participating in his recovery. He has now been drinking for 9 months and it is not up to me to get him to stop. The simplest answer I have for this question is, I live. I go... Continue Reading →
It Frickin Hurts!
It's funny, when I was doing the unhealthy things and the codependent behaviors I so often did, I was comfortable with the pain and disappointment. It's what I grew up with, it's what I knew. It was expected and understood to some extent. Does that make sense? Today, I had to do what was right and... Continue Reading →
It is a challenge…
Staying on my side of the street is not always easy, however, I did it this past week. Someone very near and dear to me fell off the wagon this past week and my heart is truly sad. I have actually had four loved ones fall off within the past three weeks. Needless to say, it... Continue Reading →