Love Is Letting Go

Oreo at the river in 2005
Oreo at the river in 2005

Today was another sad day of letting go of something so dear and precious to me and my children. Another opportunity to do the right thing and another chapter closed. Today my sweet Oreo went to “Doggie Heaven”.

We have had Oreo since she was 6 weeks old. An adorable Australian Shepherd, Chihuahua mix. She was extremely smart, gentle and loyal beyond belief. She was the best dog one could ever ask for. At almost 17 years old, her time with us needed to come to an end. It was heart-breaking to have her put to sleep but watching her suffer and struggle everyday was even worse. I needed to do what was right for Oreo and not my own selfish needs. I needed to let her go and release her from the pain and suffering she endured daily.

I have not told my 5-year-old granddaughter yet. She believes that Oreo went to the doctor. She has experienced the loss of two other family dogs, who belonged to her other grandparents, so I know she understands, but I want so badly to protect her from such sadness. Unfortunately, I will not be able to. The only thing I can do is to tell her the truth and be there to help her through the emotions. It will be another sad day but I’m thinking somehow we can make it special by releasing some balloon for her or something.  

let-goI was watching “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” tonight and a little boy wrote a poem about what he saw love as. It made me reflect on the past week and all that has happened and what has been lost in my life. I loved my dog but what kind of love would it have been to hold on to her and watch her suffer until she could move no move or eat? I showed my love for her by letting her go.

The same holds true for my broken relationship. I still love him but I cannot hold on to something someone else does not want. I am showing my love for him by letting go. In doing this, I not only show love for him (and a respect for his choices), I am showing love and respect for myself. That is what’s most important. I love myself too much to be swallowed up by the drama and emotional pain. I love myself too much to hold on to someone who does not love me back. I love myself more today than I ever have and I am letting go so I can continue to love myself…because I deserve it.

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