I anticipate 2015 to be a really good year for me and those I love. I have that endless hope that things will get better, finances will improve, relationships will grow, and life will not be so turbulent. I know, I know…this is probably not the reality but a girl can hope, right? It doesn’t matter though, I have hope for these things and that is what I will focus on. My glass is not only half-full, but it’s enough to satisfy and I am grateful for whatever may be in my glass!
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with God about a relationship. He answered me that night, in no uncertain terms, that there was something better waiting for me and to let go. I agreed the instant I received His answer and the very next day, the door flung wide open. Amazing! Let me explain what’s been happening in my life since I had that little conversation with God.
The very next day, I received a message from a gentleman who grew up in my neighborhood. We messaged back and forth for a little while and then decided to meet up the next night. We met at a little place for a couple of drinks and talked for a couple of hours before parting ways. It was comfortable. It was fun. We decided to meet up again on Christmas Eve and go look at Christmas lights.
Now for anyone that knows me and what I have been through in past relationships, knows what a hopeless romantic I am. They also know how I always seem to end up with men who I let use and abuse me, in hopes that somehow I get my needs met, in some minuscule way. That’s the pathetic little thing that will keep me holding on to something that is so not right for me. Give me a piece of gristle and I feel you have given me the world. Ugh, I know, I know…
Anyway, it has been almost a month since I started seeing this gentleman and already, I am beyond understanding. On Christmas Eve he told me that there were two rules to going out with him. I asked, “Oh really, what?” His reply kind of set me back a bit. “One, you are to never touch a door and two, you are to never open your wallet.” Now really, how does one, who has never been treated like that, respond? It has been a bit of a struggle but I am managing. hahaha… He also remembered something from our conversation a few nights earlier and surprised me with a big stuffed panda bear on Christmas Eve. I can’t remember any man who has remembered something so small in our conversations and gone out of his way to surprise me with it. Shoot, most don’t remember anything I say 5 minutes later!
Last weekend, he took me on a trip up Highway 1 to Mendocino and Ft. Bragg. It was beautiful and so much fun. What an awesome adventure we had! He taught me to play dominoes and is now starting to teach me to play cribbage. He pays for everything and yes, opens my door, not only to get in the car, but out as well. Who does that? He’s planning some kind of trip for next weekend also and I am waiting with anticipation.
For as amazing as the past few weeks have been, it has also been a bit uncomfortable. This is not what I am use to. My last post was about not settling for less than I deserve but yet, I am being treated like a queen and boy does that just feel weird. I am having to constantly fight my codependent urges to figure out what will make him happy and what can I do for him. I’m not saying that I don’t do anything for him; I’m saying that my focus is not only on him but that my needs are being met as well. That is a balance I have never tried to meet before. It’s really quite eye-opening and actually quite enjoyable. Who knew loving and respecting myself could open so many doors and be so much fun?