One more step forward today. It’s been a little rough trying to keep the guilt at bay, but I have managed. The restraining order has been filed and I will pick up the order tomorrow. It was hard, at first, then someone told me that “he” found out I was filing the restraining order and said he was going to file one against me. That made me laugh! I asked for what and was told that he would say I was codependent and would get friends to sign letters stating I was crazy. Really??? This only fueled my determination to follow through and kick the guilt to the curb.
I told you once before, I do not like to be manipulated and that’s exactly what this was; a tactic trying to scare me to back down. Not happening! I did not threaten to harm or kill anyone! It makes me laugh because how would you explain that to a judge?
Judge – “Why are you filing a restraining order?”
Him – “She’s codependent?”
Judge – “And she has harmed you how?”
Him – “Well, she has always been nice to me, did everything for me, lived the shitty life I gave her without complaining, walked away when we fought, stood up for me even when I didn’t deserve it, put up with my drunken-ass for the last two years of our relationship, became friends with my new girlfriend, was there for her when I was too drunk to be, didn’t respond to my drunken texts or the 70 phone calls I made to her in 2 hours, didn’t engage when I threatened her life, called the police and filed a restraining order…I tell you she’s crazy!”
One more time…REALLY???
On the way home I heard a Katy Perry song that I’ve never heard before. God has always used music to speak to me and put me in a better place and seems to always send me the right song just when I need it. Not sure why it’s Katy Perry lately though.
If you are struggling, I hope this speaks to you as it does me. We have an inner strength that, when we realize it, no one can ever take it away from us!