Did you hear it? It was so quiet one would scarcely notice. The "swoosh" of the backslide. My backslide. Not even I heard it. I was just there. I missed all the warning signs that I'm sure were posted all along the way. Do you know why? I missed them because I was too damn... Continue Reading →
Inside Out Challenge – Day 11
The most you said with just one word Like most codependent, the hardest thing for me to do is say, "No". However, that tiny little word has given me so much freedom and has brought me to a place of peace and serenity in my life. Saying "No" has taught me how to set boundaries with... Continue Reading →
No Need To Explain Myself
Updated... I wrestled with myself a little last week... I received an email from Kindle Direct Publishing for my ex's father's account. At one point, a few years ago, I was helping him edit and self-publish his books. I kept telling him I was not a literary agent nor an editor but he wanted my... Continue Reading →
Hope vs. Expectations vs. Reality
I had to give myself a reality check over the past couple of days and it has taken me some time to process it. It was a wake-up call to "hope vs. expectations" and it was disappointing. Somehow I have managed to bleed expectations into my hope. Years ago, someone called me "pathetically hopeful". I... Continue Reading →
I am at a loss…
Warning...Foul language ahead...read at your own risk. 🙂 Every now and then I just have to sit back and laugh at myself. I mean really laugh. For all the years of recovery I have and all the tools that are in my toolbox, I still mess up. It's just proof that I will always be... Continue Reading →
Planning For A Stressless Season
Well here we are...fall and I love the fall weather! However, fall also signifies the start of the holiday season; a season that brings about much stress and overwhelm. I use to love the holiday season. I enjoyed buying things for friends and family, getting together for large family dinners, attending parties, etc., but not... Continue Reading →
She Is Staying Off The Dance Floor
My best friend Lucy has a son who is an addict. He is 36 (I think) and has been in and out of jail for drugs and drug related crimes since he was a young teen. He even lived with me for about a year when he was getting his life together and attending school... Continue Reading →
“Everyone” Wants To Be Heard But “No one” Wants To Listen
It amazes me how fast we can get stuck in an unhealthy cycle of dysfunction. Life's circumstances and daily stresses can become overwhelming and we just want someone to listen as we work through the pain, emotions, challenges, etc, that each day brings. Unfortunately, because we all have these pains, emotions, challenges, etc, we get... Continue Reading →
Are You A Safe Person?
I originally wrote this post in 2014 but thought it was a good time to bring it up again. I had an interesting conversation last night with a friend of mine who seems to feel another friend we have in common (though I haven't seen her for a few years) is "stuck" in her marriage.... Continue Reading →
I Won’t Back Down
I felt this song went along perfectly with the post I wrote this morning about my boundaries. Sometimes a little song in my head helps to remind me of where I am or where I need to be in my recovery and this one was spot on! So if you are having troubles with holding... Continue Reading →
My A – Z Codependency Challenge – B
Boundaries, Blame, Busy The first time I read the word "boundaries" in Melody Beattie's book, Codependent No More, I thought, "What the hell are boundaries?" The counselor I was seeing at that time recommended I read it so I did. Now, it's pretty sad that I had no clue what "setting boundaries" meant but what's even... Continue Reading →
Sometimes…Doing What Is Right For Me Can Be Hard
Do you let your codependency and people-pleasing issues get in the way of taking care of yourself and doing what it right for you or just right in general? Yeah, that would be me. I still catch myself getting stuck in these ruts. However, today, I know how to get out of them. Sometimes I... Continue Reading →