Well, I failed myself this weekend. Just when I think I've got it, I do something so stupid to prove to myself that I don't. Thank God I'm striving for progress and not perfection but I'm doing a pretty good job of beating myself up for it. This past Sunday I was able to visit... Continue Reading →
I did something this morning. Something that made me uncomfortable and just a bit nervous. It wasn't easy but it needed to be done, for me, so I did it. I spoke my truth. Why is it so difficult for me to speak my truth? Melody Beattie's book, "Codependent No More", has 9 pages of... Continue Reading →
This post expresses extremely foul language but it is the truth of where I am tonight - please do not read if it will offend you... I'm so angry tonight! It started off earlier today as shock and disbelief and as I rolled through the stages, once again, I have ended up here. I am... Continue Reading →
How many times have you heard the saying, "Nothing changes if nothing changes"? How about the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Maybe you're like me, before I entered recovery, and have never heard these sayings before. Well, you have now so what are your thoughts? I... Continue Reading →
I woke up Wednesday feeling pretty at peace with myself and what was about to happen. It was finally the day to appear before the judge regarding the restraining order I had filed against my ex. I thought I had it all under control and this was going to be a breeze. It wasn't until... Continue Reading →
One of the most frustrating things for a recovering codependent is to watch someone, who knows nothing of codependency, dance the endless and exhausting dance. It doesn't matter how much you explain what is happening on the dance floor, because you are all too familiar with it, they still dance. Once again reminding me, that... Continue Reading →
One more step forward today. It's been a little rough trying to keep the guilt at bay, but I have managed. The restraining order has been filed and I will pick up the order tomorrow. It was hard, at first, then someone told me that "he" found out I was filing the restraining order and said... Continue Reading →
Remember my last post, where I bragged about landing in the "Valley of Change"? Well, a tornado stuck the valley, full force, that very night. There was no warning; I never saw it coming. It hit so hard, I almost lost my sanity and peace of mind. Sleep did not come to me that night... Continue Reading →
I can't believe how strong I feel! I can't believe how good I feel! For the last several days, I have been inundated with opportunities to "dance"; one right after the other. I haven't felt the need to. I haven't allowed them to upset me to the point that I feel the uncontrollable need to lash back.... Continue Reading →
I guess I seem to be stuck on boundaries lately. Once again, I am facing the issue of setting them but need to work through doing it in a loving and respectful manner. I have an issue that needs to be addressed and it needs to happen soon. I understand that when I do not... Continue Reading →
It has taken many years and much practice for me to learn what healthy boundaries are and how to set them. I can say, today I am more comfortable setting them and standing firm without much guilt, especially when I can tell I am being manipulated. Sure, on occasion, I still struggle with them, especially when it... Continue Reading →
Years ago, in the pit of my codependency, before learning that the pain I was in was caused by me and my actions or reactions, I needed you to understand. I needed you to know of my pain and how you hurt me. I needed you to acknowledge what you did. I needed your apology. I... Continue Reading →
Journey On Strong 