Encouragement for the Codependent
Unworthy, Unhealthy, Unattainable, Unhinged I have spent most of my life feeling unworthy; unworthy of love, unworthy of happiness, unworthy of peace... My unhealthy thoughts and behaviors and a total lack of self-respect fueled this unworthiness. And because I was so unhealthy, I unconsciously perpetrated unattainable expectation on myself and others. I wanted to be... Continue Reading →
Trust, Teased, Tiresome, Tired Trust - We are born with an innate ability to trust and as we grow, we develop a sense of who we can or cannot trust based on our life experiences. Somehow along the way, my trust sensor broke. I blame it on my lack of self-esteem from a very young... Continue Reading →
Secrets, Self-Sabotage Did you know that codependents keep secrets? Seriously, they do! Well, I did! Yep, they were deep, dark secrets that led to a whole lot of self-sabotage. Keeping those secrets helped to keep me down, locked in a prison in my own mind. Those secrets choked the life out of me. Other than... Continue Reading →
Rebound, Reliable Rebound - Going from one relationship to the next right away to avoid the pain of a breakup. One way I dealt with my feeling of hurt and betrayal was to rebound to the next relationship. So basically, I didn’t deal with them. For some reason, I could not be alone. Having someone,... Continue Reading →
Quiet, Quest, Questions I was quiet about my quest My quest to find love My quest to find peace My quest to find happiness My quest to find acceptance Too quiet I shut out that still small voice I did not ask questions Questions that would guide me Questions that would protect me Questions that... Continue Reading →
Pusillanimous, Passive Aggressive I had an album when I was a teenager by the Rutles. I don’t remember where it came from but there was one song that always stuck with me, or should I say, one line from one song that always stuck with me; “You're so pusillanimous, oh yeah." I remember looking up... Continue Reading →
Obsession, Overwrought, Overwhelmed I had an obsession To love you Like I thought you needed to be loved I was overwrought With fear, guilt and shame When my love was not enough I was overwhelmed With my failure To love you like you needed to be loved I understand now To love me So I... Continue Reading →
I had a very busy day so I’m a little too exhausted to dig deep. So, here’s another short and sweet… Neediness, Numb, Negligence In my neediness (wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree) I was numb (emotionally unresponsive; indifferent) to the negligence (failure to take proper care in doing something) I... Continue Reading →
Manipulation, Minimize, Mask Do you realize that codependents are masters of manipulation? I had no idea! Let me tell you, learning that was like a blow to the gut. I did not like hearing that I was a manipulator (to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage) but... Continue Reading →
Loathed, Lacked, Lost For me there is a great distinction between hate and loathe. I hate a lot of things and have even claimed to have hated some people from time to time (though I do not hang on to that burden long) but loathe is something all together different to me. Loathe is a... Continue Reading →
Knack, Kowtowing, Keelhauling, Knowing, Knee-jerk, Know I’m going to make this short and sweet. I had a knack (a tendency to do something) to kowtowing (act in an excessively subservient manner) knowing (done in full awareness or consciousness) that it wasn’t right or healthy for me and a knee jerk (automatic and unthinking) reaction to... Continue Reading →
Jackasses, Joyless, Jeopardy My mother uses the term jackass when she discusses the very few men she doesn’t like. It’s much nicer than the term(s) I use but since it falls in line with my “J” list, I will use it. Wink, wink So, let’s just start with the fact that my picker was broken.... Continue Reading →
Journey On Strong 