Week 13: How I’ve Redefined My Role in Relationships

Confessions of a Recovering People-Pleaser: My Hilarious Journey to Healthy Relationships

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away (okay, my own life), I was the Queen of Codependency. My royal duties included rescuing distressed citizens (a.k.a. significant others, friends, coworkers, and the occasional lost puppy), fixing problems that were never mine to fix, and ensuring everyone else’s emotional well-being while my own needs sat in a dusty corner, neglected like last year’s New Year’s resolutions.

But fear not, dear reader, for this is a tale of redemption!

I’ve since handed in my cape (because let’s be honest, it clashed with most of my outfits) and embarked on a journey of relationship redefinition. Here’s how I approach things differently now, with a little humor and a lot less emotional exhaustion:

1. I’m Not a Human Band-Aid Anymore

Once upon a time, someone would say, “I’m having a bad day,” and I’d immediately spring into action like an overzealous emotional EMT, offering solutions, cookies, and unsolicited life coaching. Now? I offer empathy but resist the urge to fix everything. “That sounds rough. Want to vent, or just need a distraction?” Boom. Growth. But in full disclosure, sometimes, I have to try really hard to stop myself from blurting out the unsolicited life coaching. 🙂

2. I No Longer Have a PhD in Mind Reading

I used to assume I knew exactly what everyone needed before they even said a word. (My psychic hotline business would’ve been booming.) These days, I’ve discovered the magic of direct communication. If someone needs something, they can gasp actually tell me. And if they don’t? I don’t need to constantly ask, “What’s wrong?” or “Is everything ok?”. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

3. Boundaries Are My New Love Language

Before, my boundaries were as solid as a wet paper towel. If someone needed me, I was there, even if it meant sacrificing my own sanity. Now? I have a favorite new word: No. It’s short, sweet, and pairs well with a guilt-free smile. More often is comes out as, “Sorry, I can’t.” or “Not this time.” but you get the point.

4. I Don’t Mistake Martyrdom for Love

I used to think love meant self-sacrifice, like one of those tragic movie characters who gives up their dreams to support their partner’s mediocre garage band. But guess what? Love can be supportive and balanced. I can care about someone without losing myself in the process. Who knew?

5. I Let People Solve Their Own Puzzles

Old me: “Oh no! You lost your keys? Let me turn my life upside down to help you find them!” New me: “That so frustrating. you’ll find them soon.” (Spoiler alert: They always do.)

6. I Give Myself the Love I Used to Give Away for Free

I used to pour all my energy into making sure everyone else was okay, leaving my own cup empty. Now, I fill my own cup first. Sometimes that means saying no, taking a nap, or treating myself to coffee just because. Revolutionary, I know.

The Moral of the Story?**

It turns out, being a people-pleasing superhero is exhausting, and the world keeps spinning even when I’m not frantically trying to keep everyone afloat. Relationships work better when they’re balanced, and taking care of myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. If someone is upset that I’m not doing everything for them when they need it then that’s their problem, not mine. I’m getting pretty good at that!

So, to all my fellow recovering codependents: Welcome to the other side. The air is fresher here, and we have snacks.

Got any hilarious codependency recovery moments? Share them in the comments—I promise not to try to fix them!

Join me on this blogging challenge. Visit the page and download the PDF. I would love to read your story! 

• Week 13 – Blogging Challenge for Codependency Recovery:
  • My Coping Mechanisms (Healthy and Unhealthy): Evaluate how you deal with stress.
• Week 13– Blogging Challenge for Advanced Codependency Recovery:
  • How I’ve Redefined My Role in Relationships: Explore how you now approach relationships differently.

#CodependencyChallenge2025