Week 31: Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone

How I Learned to Embrace My Own Company

The timing of this topic couldn’t be better. Just last night, I came across a social media post that spoke directly to this, and it really hit home. I’ll share it at the end of this post.

There was a time when being alone felt like torture. I couldn’t sit in a quiet room without my thoughts throwing a full-blown parade. The silence wasn’t peaceful; it was loud and overwhelming. A quiet Saturday or a lull in conversation felt like proof that something was wrong with me.

So I kept myself busy. Packed my schedule. Said yes to everything. I figured if I was always around people, I must be doing something right. That meant I was loved, right? But deep down, I wasn’t really connected. Not to others, and definitely not to myself.

Solitude used to feel like punishment. Now, it feels like a warm, safe place.

It didn’t happen overnight. There was no big breakthrough moment. Just small shifts. But I can tell you when things started to change.

Being married to a drug addict filled my life with utter chaos. The paranoia, the delusions, the accusations; it was all too much. I was a constant nervous wreck, wound tighter than a spring. But during the times he went into rehab or was arrested, I could finally breathe. I felt peace.

That’s when I began to unlearn the belief that I needed someone else to feel whole. I started getting curious about myself instead of judging. I lit candles just for me. Took quiet walks. Treated myself to dinner or a movie. And slowly, I started to realize that my peace mattered. That I mattered.

The truth is, I wasn’t afraid of the quiet. I was afraid of facing myself. But when I finally did, I realized I wasn’t so bad to be around. I’m actually kind of a gem.

These days, solitude is where I reset. It’s where I get honest, dream big, have a good cry, or just sit with a warm cup of coffee and breathe. Being alone doesn’t mean I’m forgotten. It means I’m finally showing up for myself.

I no longer ache for company. I’m surrounded by wonderful friends and family, and if I ever feel lonely, I know I can reach out.

And here’s the post I read last night. It’s powerful and absolutely true:

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NEVER PLAY GAMES WITH A WOMAN WHO ISN’T AFRAID TO BE ALONE.
She has already survived nights without someone to hold her, days without a call, and seasons with no support. She has learned to wipe her own tears, fix her own problems, and protect her peace. She doesn’t settle for breadcrumbs, mixed signals, or half-hearted love. She knows being alone is better than chaos disguised as love.

You can’t manipulate her with silence or win her with temporary affection. She has built a life that doesn’t need validation. She is already whole. So when you play games, you’re not confusing her. You’re showing her you’re not ready for her love. And the moment she sees you’re wasting her time, she won’t argue, beg, or chase. She will walk away, quietly and gracefully, back to her peace.

She loves by choice, not out of need. And if you’re not adding to her life, she won’t hesitate to subtract you from it.
– Chris Perry

When was the last time you truly enjoyed your own company, without distractions or expectations?

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Join me on this blogging challenge. Visit the page and download the PDF. I would love to read your story! 

• Week 31 – Blogging Challenge for Codependency Recovery:
  • Rewriting My Personal Narrative: Share the story you want to live.
• Week 31– Blogging Challenge for Advanced Codependency Recovery:
  • Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone: Reflect on how you’ve grown comfortable with solitude.

#CodependencyChallenge2025