Week 21: When Boundaries Are Tested

When Boundaries Are Tested: Holding the Line When It’s Hard

Because sometimes, “No” is a full sentence… even when it’s whispered through clenched teeth.

Let’s talk about that moment when you’ve clearly drawn the line—and someone tries to tap dance all over it.

You know the one:

• You’ve told a friend, “I’m not available to talk after 9pm.” And there they are, texting you a novel at 9:07.
• You’ve promised yourself you won’t lend money again—and here comes that “just one last time” request.
• You’ve declared Sunday as your sacred self-care day—and suddenly someone needs a “tiny” favor that will take… the entire day.

Boundaries sound beautiful when we’re journaling. They look bold on sticky notes and empowering in therapy sessions. But in real life? They get tested. And sometimes, the test looks like love. Or guilt. Or a very convincing “urgent” situation.

I used to think that setting a boundary was the hard part. Turns out, maintaining it when people push back is where the real growth happens. Especially when you’re a recovering people-pleaser who used to interpret discomfort as a sign to backpedal.

One time, I actually apologized for enforcing a boundary. I caught myself saying, “Sorry I said I needed space—I didn’t mean to upset you.” I mean… seriously?

But over time, I’ve learned that a boundary isn’t a wall to keep people out—it’s a door that helps the right ones enter respectfully. It’s an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

And here’s what’s helped me stand firm when the pressure’s on:

• Pause before responding. That knee-jerk “sure” tends to betray me. If I pause, I can ask myself: Is this a boundary I already set? Is it being crossed?
• Use simple, kind language. You don’t need a PowerPoint. “I’m not able to do that right now” works wonders.
• Expect discomfort. Boundaries can ruffle feathers—especially if people benefited from your lack of them. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
• Stay anchored in your why. You set that boundary for a reason—your peace, your health, your healing. That still matters.

So yes, boundaries will be tested. But each time you hold the line, it gets a little easier. You get a little stronger. And eventually, people either adjust—or weed themselves out. (Blessings either way.)

You are worthy of space, of peace, and of saying no without explanation.

What’s one boundary you’ve had to defend lately—and how did it feel? I’d love to hear how you’re holding your ground.

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Join me on this blogging challenge. Visit the page and download the PDF. I would love to read your story! 

• Week 21 – Blogging Challenge for Codependency Recovery:
  • Affirmations That Resonate with Me: Share affirmations that inspire you.
• Week 21– Blogging Challenge for Advanced Codependency Recovery:
  • When Boundaries Are Tested: Share experiences of maintaining boundaries under pressure.

#CodependencyChallenge2025