There are times when I just have to stop and remember how badly I screwed my kids up with my codependent behaviors. You know the old saying, “Monkey see, monkey do”. And then I realize that today I am in a place that I can model a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle. I am blessed that I get to encourage and guide them when they are struggling with their own codependent behaviors.
However, Mother is not always there to save the day. Hahaha…
Recently, my daughter (S) went to visit a young man she has started dating and they went to breakfast at his sister’s house. From what I understand, the sister is a really sweet woman and the family loves my daughter to pieces and my daughter loves them too. She has known them since she was in middle-school.
So S comes home to tell me what happened at breakfast…His sister served cherry tomatoes with the eggs and potatoes. S doesn’t like cherry tomatoes or any other tomatoes (unless there cooked in something) so what does she do? Does she say, “No thank you”? Nope, she panicked and then started strategizing in her head, how she was going to choke these tomatoes down so she wouldn’t gag and throw up. Okay, yes, I’m dying laughing here! She did it! She managed to choke down 6 cherry tomatoes, one right after the other, all the while keeping her mind focused on the thought that she could eat the eggs and potatoes when she was done.
Okay, to be honest, I was rolling! She choked down these tomatoes because she didn’t want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings? She strategized how she was going to do it? I can’t even imagine how humiliated S would have been if she had gagged because she does not gag softly or quietly. For as far as S has come in learning about codependency and the great strides she has made in taking control of her life, she backslid to the bottom of the ladder with that one. I laughed so hard!
Then she told me that later in the day she told her boyfriend about it and he was just as floored as I was and laughed just as hard. And guess what he did? He told his sister that afternoon when they went back over! Everyone has had a great laugh over this one and I’m sure she can expect every time she eats at their house, they are going to be asking her if she is okay with eating whatever is being served.
This is a great reminder: even something as small as cherry tomatoes can be a reminder that it is okay to say, “no thank you”, and do what is right for you!