Black Belt Codependent Interview Series – Julie

Today’s interview is with Julie. Julie is one of my best friends and I have had the honor of watching her grow and change over the years. She is a powerful woman of God!

Want to share your story and encourage others? If you are interested in participating in the “Black Belt Codependent Interview Series“, please click here and complete the form.

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Julie…

Tell us about yourself.

I am a wife, mother, grandmother. I am 56 years young and as I age life is showing me a completely new perspective.

How did you know you were codependent?

A therapist told me when I was in my 20’s.

How do you think you became a codependent?

Dysfunctional family and trying to please everyone.

Describe codependency in one word?

Journey

Do you find being a codependent an embarrassing label? If so, why?

No, unless people would try and correct my behavior without permission.

What were your biggest fears relating to your codependency?

My biggest fear was worrying I would hurt someone’s feelings.

Do you feel that your codependency controlled you?

Yes, by being over committed.

What was the turning point that caused you to seek help or learn more about codependency?

The bad relationships I was in.

Who did you hurt the most with your codependency?

Myself

What does “detachment” mean to you?

Not to feel anything.

What does, “Stay on your side of the street” mean to you?

Don’t get involved when someone is trying to take advantage of me.

What does, “Get off the dance floor” mean to you?

Stop being codependent.

How did you deal with boundaries in the past and how do you deal with them today?

It is always evolving, some days are better than others.

Have there been any dramatic changes in you, your attitude, or your life since starting your journey of recovery?

Yes, my relationship with God.

What is the hardest part of staying focused on yourself and your recovery?

Still wanting to make sure everyone is happy.

What is the easiest part of staying focused on yourself and your recovery?

Knowing that I have no control over other people.

Without all the drama that codependency brings, do you find life, work, and relationships boring now?

Absolutely not.

What are some of the tools you use to help you stay in your recovery?

Journaling, talking with God and my bff.

Do you have a favorite saying, quote or mantra that helps to keep you going?

I am not responsible for how people react.

What words of encouragement or advice do you have for others who are seeking information or beginning their journey of recovering and healing from their issues of codependency?

No one will die from you saying no.

It is a marathon not a sprint.

Do you have anything else you would like to share about your recovery from codependency?

The more you use your tools the easier it gets.