Enabler, Excuses, Evasive Let me just start this with the saying, "You don't know what you don't know" and I didn't know. I didn't know what an enabler was. I didn't know that all my "helping" was actually "harming". I didn't know that trying to save someone from their toxic behaviors was feeding their need to... Continue Reading →
Denial, Delusional, Deceit, Debacle Oh good grief! When I started this little A-Z challenge I don't think I really thought it through well. I’m laughing at myself now because it’s only day 4 and who wants to admit these damn words? Delusional: having false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions - Yep, I had false and unrealistic beliefs of... Continue Reading →
Control, Care-taking, Communication I never thought I had any control issues. Nope, not me. But you see, control issues are sneaky little bastards. I thought everyone else had the issues and I was there to help and make it happen. If you were hungry, I fed you. If you were sad or angry, I tried to... Continue Reading →
Boundaries, Blame, Busy The first time I read the word "boundaries" in Melody Beattie's book, Codependent No More, I thought, "What the hell are boundaries?" The counselor I was seeing at that time recommended I read it so I did. Now, it's pretty sad that I had no clue what "setting boundaries" meant but what's even... Continue Reading →
Do you let your codependency and people-pleasing issues get in the way of taking care of yourself and doing what it right for you or just right in general? Yeah, that would be me. I still catch myself getting stuck in these ruts. However, today, I know how to get out of them. Sometimes I... Continue Reading →
Where do you get your affirmation? Most of my life I looked for affirmation from others. I needed to hear their words of praise, encouragement, love... I NEEDED it. I would receive compliments or praise and I would feel an ever so brief fluttering of pride. Then I would start feeling they didn't really mean... Continue Reading →
I was doing some reading about boundaries and personal rights and it made me think of a castle. My life is now a castle in all its glory and splendor. You're probably thinking, "how in the heck did you get from boundaries and rights, to your life is a castle?" Let me explain, as I... Continue Reading →
We’ve all heard of the “ripple effect”, haven’t we? Dictionary.com defines the ripple effect as “a spreading effect or series of consequences caused by a single action or event”. When I look back at my life, I can see so many instances where the ripple effect was in play. What I can also see now... Continue Reading →
I'm leaving this evening to fly to Las Vegas for our family reunion and I am pretty excited about it. I have mentioned in the past that I am not really close to anyone in my very large family. I have never felt like I fit in and have always felt like a failure and... Continue Reading →
The very first time I gave my testimony of recovery was to my Celebrate Recovery home group sometime in mid 2007. If you have read my story, you know that 2007 was not my best year. There was still so much turmoil going on in my life but I had made huge strides in my recovery... Continue Reading →
Yesterday I posted about terminating a client of mine and her email 28 days later asking me to reconsider. As soon as I read her email, I knew what my answer would be but I wanted to take some time to really think and pray if it was the right one. Here was my response and... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, my best friend Lucy and I took a trip to San Francisco's Golden Gate Park to visit the Japanese Tea Gardens. I can't even begin to tell you about the wonderful adventures we had. We laughed so much and so hard, others probably thought we were drunk or on drugs...especially on the paddle boat!... Continue Reading →
Journey On Strong 