Week 26: Letting Go of Deep-Rooted Resentment

Letting Go of Deep-Rooted Resentment: Releasing the Weight I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying

For a long time, I didn’t even realize what I was feeling was resentment. I just figured feeling frustrated or a little bitter was normal. I didn’t really see that I was carrying it around like an invisible backpack I had put on years ago and never taken off. The straps dug into my shoulders, but after a while, it just felt like part of life.

As someone who has been untangling codependency and people-pleasing for years, resentment became one of those sneaky things that crept in quietly. I would say yes when I wanted to say no. I would go out of my way to keep the peace, to make others happy, to avoid conflict. But underneath, little seeds of resentment would start to grow:

• They don’t appreciate everything I do.
• Why am I always the one who has to?
• If they really cared, they would know what I need.

The thing is, most of the people I resented had no idea I was even upset. They were not sitting around scheming about how to hurt me. They were just being themselves. Meanwhile, I was carrying my invisible backpack full of unspoken hurts and unmet expectations.

Eventually, it got heavy enough that I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

The Process of Letting Go (Not a One-Time Event)

Letting go of resentment has not been a single lightbulb moment for me. It has been more like a series of small, repeated choices.

1. Recognizing my part.
I had to be honest with myself. I wasn’t always clear about my needs. Sometimes I hoped people would read my mind or just automatically know how I felt. When they didn’t, I got upset. Learning to speak up, even when it felt uncomfortable, has helped prevent new resentments from building.

2. Accepting imperfection (in others and myself).
People are flawed. So am I. Expecting everyone to say and do the right thing all the time just isn’t realistic. Giving grace to others and to myself has been a big part of my healing.

3. Choosing freedom instead of keeping score.
Sometimes it felt weirdly comforting to hang onto the times I had been wronged, like if I kept track it somehow made it all make sense. But keeping score only kept me stuck. Real freedom came when I stopped tallying and just let it go.

4. Practicing, not perfecting.
Some days, I still catch myself rehearsing old hurts in my head. When that happens, I gently remind myself that I have done a lot of work and I don’t need to carry that weight today.

If You’re On This Path Too

Here’s something that has helped me. Resentment keeps us tied to the past. Forgiveness, even when it is just choosing to release the weight for our own peace, helps us move forward.

I don’t need an apology to heal. I don’t need every story to have the perfect ending. What I need is peace, and peace comes from letting go.

What resentment are you still carrying?

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Join me on this blogging challenge. Visit the page and download the PDF. I would love to read your story! 

• Week 26 – Blogging Challenge for Codependency Recovery:
  • Understanding Anger as a Healthy Emotion: Share a time you expressed anger constructively.
• Week 26– Blogging Challenge for Advanced Codependency Recovery:
  • Letting Go of Deep-Rooted Resentment: Reflect on the process of releasing long-held grievances.

#CodependencyChallenge2025