Week 18: Learning to Take Up Space

Learning to Take Up Space: One Awkward Step at a Time

There was a time when my idea of “taking up space” meant making myself as small, quiet, and unnoticeable as possible. If I could have tucked myself into a pocket or blended into a wallpaper pattern, believe me, I would have. Speaking up? Asking for what I needed? Pfft. That felt like breaking some unspoken universal rule: Thou shalt not inconvenience others with thy existence.

But guess what? It turns out that shrinking doesn’t earn you a gold star in life. It just leaves you with a stiff neck, a resentful heart, and a very confused sense of self.

Somewhere along my codependency recovery journey, I realized that having needs, opinions, and dreams didn’t make me selfish—it made me human. Saying “yes” when I meant “no” wasn’t noble; it was dishonest. Laughing at jokes I didn’t find funny wasn’t polite; it was abandoning myself for the sake of fitting in. (Also, fake laughing is exhausting. 0/10 recommend.)

Learning to take up space didn’t happen in one big, dramatic moment. It happened in small, shaky ways:

• Saying, “Actually, I have a different idea.”
• Leaving a conversation that drained me, without apologizing ten times first.
• Speaking slower, louder, and without a 15-minute preamble of “Sorry if this is stupid, but…”

It felt weird at first—like trying on a jacket that was a little too big. But the more I practiced, the more it fit. And wow, the air up here in my full, unapologetic self is pretty refreshing.

These days, I remind myself: I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to take up room. I’m allowed to have a voice that doesn’t sound like a question mark.

And so are you.

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Join me on this blogging challenge. Visit the page and download the PDF. I would love to read your story! 

• Week 18 – Blogging Challenge for Codependency Recovery:
  • Learning to Say No: Write about a time you said “no” and how it felt.
• Week 18– Blogging Challenge for Advanced Codependency Recovery:
  • Learning to Take Up Space: Reflect on how you’ve embraced your voice and presence.

#CodependencyChallenge2025