I had another weird dream the other night. It was truly bizarre so when I woke up, I looked up a few of the significant things I remembered on Dream Moods. I enjoy doing this because it really helps to give me some insight as to what is going on in my subconscious mind; apparently, quite a bit.
I won’t go into all the details of the dream but there was one particular part that stressed me out. I had my cell phone and was trying to take pictures of what was going on but my phone kept locking up. I wasn’t able to take any pictures and it was truly frustrating me.
I looked up “phone” on Dream Moods and found this (yes, my phone is a Smartphone but it wasn’t so smart in my dream):
To see or use a Smartphone in your dream represents your immediate connection to the world around you. Someone out there is always listening. On the other hand, these connections may be giving you a false sense of community or feeding into your feelings of inadequacies.
Wow! That certainly hit the nail on the head. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have joined a few codependency groups on Facebook, not because I feel the need for support or encouragement but because I was hoping to be able to give back in these groups by supporting and encouraging others. However, I have not. I read through the posts and all the comments but I do not comment. On occasion, I justify this because I want to stay out of some of the cattiness going on. When I read this on Dream Moods, I realized the truth though; I just don’t feel like I have anything to offer.
Say what? Yep, you heard that right.
Somehow I have slipped back into that old “stinkin-thinkin”. Not sure how I ended up here but I have. Maybe because my diabetes is so out of whack and I can’t get it under control. Or maybe because the weather is cooler and my RA has flared and I am pretty much in constant pain. Or maybe because I’m in so much pain at night I can’t sleep and once I do fall asleep, I wake up because my blood sugar has dropped so low that I have to eat something to get it back up. Or maybe because I just don’t feel well overall. I can give you any number of excuses but that’s just what they are…excuses.
For some reason I feel there are others who have more sound advice, or more recovery, or more common sense, or more whatever. When I step back and really look at the situation, I see that I’m allowing the “fear of judgment” to stop me from contributing. Really? Yep.
So the question becomes, where is this fear coming from? At this moment, I’m not sure so that is going to take a little work on my part to dig up that root. Or maybe there isn’t really a root and it’s just because I don’t feel well. I’ll work through it and let you know.