Week 25: Healing the Subconscious Mind

Healing the Subconscious Mind: Changing the Scripts That Once Controlled Me

If you had asked me years ago whether I had deep-rooted subconscious patterns running my life, I would have confidently said no. I was just trying to help everyone, that’s all. That was the first clue.

On my blog, JourneyOnStrong.com, I have shared a lot about my path through codependency and people-pleasing recovery. But one of the trickiest and most important parts of healing has been untangling the mess hiding beneath the surface of my subconscious mind.

The truth is, codependency was not just about saying yes too often or trying to rescue people who didn’t want to be rescued. Those were only the visible signs. Underneath it all were quiet, unspoken beliefs running the show.

Beliefs like:

• Your worth comes from being needed.
• Other people’s happiness is your responsibility.
• If you say no, you are selfish and unloving.
• Conflict means danger, so avoid it at all costs.

These were not conscious decisions. They were old programs installed early on, like faulty software that kept running well into adulthood. They felt like truth, but they were really long-practiced lies.

Healing my subconscious mind was not a single moment of realization. It came in waves, often through small lightbulb moments where I would catch myself agreeing to something I did not want to do, feeling responsible for someone’s emotions, or apologizing for things that were never mine to own. Each time, I would pause and ask myself why I was doing this, whose voice I was hearing, and whether it was even true.

Most of the time, it was old programming.

As I worked through these patterns, I started building a toolbox to help me rewire my thinking.

• Affirmations. At first, I thought they were a little silly. But repeating truths like “I am worthy even when I say no” started to shift my inner dialogue.
• Journaling. Writing everything out helped me see the patterns more clearly. Sometimes I would even write notes to my younger self.
• Safe friends and support groups. Talking to people who understood codependency helped me feel less alone and gave me practical tools.
• Mindfulness. Learning to pause before reacting gave me space to make different choices.
• Grace for myself. Because healing is not a straight path. There are days I still slip into old habits, and that is part of the process.

One of the biggest shifts was realizing that my subconscious mind was never out to harm me. It was simply doing its best with outdated information. My job now is to update that information with truth, compassion, and healthy boundaries.

Each time I stand firm in my decisions, say no without guilt, or allow others to handle their own emotions, I am rewriting those old patterns. Slowly but surely, I am healing what was once buried so deep I didn’t even know it was there.

If you are on this path too, I want you to know that you are not alone. You are untangling years, sometimes decades, of beliefs that no longer serve you. It takes time and patience. It also takes a little humor, because sometimes you have to laugh at how sneaky these patterns can be.

What old belief have you discovered and started to release on your own healing journey?

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Join me on this blogging challenge. Visit the page and download the PDF. I would love to read your story! 

• Week 25 – Blogging Challenge for Codependency Recovery:
  • Dealing with Anxiety and Fear: Reflect on tools you use to manage these feelings.
• Week 25– Blogging Challenge for Advanced Codependency Recovery:
  • Healing the Subconscious Mind: Share how you’ve worked through deep-seated beliefs and patterns.

#CodependencyChallenge2025