Book Review: Conquering Shame and Codependency — Bad Cat Ink

This is a wonderfully written review of the book, Conquering Shame and Codependency, by blogger Melody Daggerhart of Bad Cat Ink. Book: Conquering Shame and Codependency Series: Author: Darlene Lancer Genres: non-fiction, self-help, psychology, codependency Synopsis (from Amazon book page): A nationally recognized author, speaker and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with... Continue Reading →

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

It has been almost four years since I wrote this post and it just amazes me how different my life is these days. Change can be hard and certainly scary but change is hope. Don't give up! How many times have you heard the saying, “Nothing changes if nothing changes”? How about the definition of... Continue Reading →

Have you lost your joy?

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who, I feel, has lost her joy. I say this because I remember when I lost mine. I remember just how I felt, how I acted and where I ended up. Joy vs. Happiness Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very... Continue Reading →

Self Care: An Alien Concept To Codependents But An Essential Process

It is an alien concept and really uncomfortable at first but life changes when we do it!

FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY

selfloveFor anyone with codependent tendencies, self care is not a concept that comes easy.  Used to giving and not receiving, it can be difficult to turn that attention inward when needed. It is generally needed at all times, however in the process of recovery from narcissist abuse, it is essential. In therapy, it is something I try to encourage as much as possible  and help clients realise that it is more than just making themselves feel good. Healthy self care is not about escaping and distraction. It is not about impulsive behavior based on self pity.  It is about the basics and more.  If we look at the basics first:

Stephen R Covey wrote: “Feeling good doesn’t just happen.  Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It’s all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out…

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No Need To Explain Myself

Updated... I wrestled with myself a little last week... I received an email from Kindle Direct Publishing for my ex's father's account. At one point, a few years ago, I was helping him edit and self-publish his books. I kept telling him I was not a literary agent nor an editor but he wanted my... Continue Reading →

I’m Still Laughing!

There are times when I just have to stop and remember how badly I screwed my kids up with my codependent behaviors. You know the old saying, "Monkey see, monkey do". And then I realize that today I am in a place that I can model a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle. I am blessed... Continue Reading →

The Recovery Elevator Is Out Of Order

Reflecting today…I am so grateful for the journey!

Journey On Strong

Don’t you wish you could just get on the “recovery elevator”, push a button and be where you want to be in no time? I’d go straight for the top…healing, wellness, wholeness, happiness… within seconds. But alas, there is no such elevator, no such pill, no such magic. There is just the journey of each step, one step at a time, and the journey is what you make it.

Let me tell you about my stairs… When I began my journey, my stairway was long and windy and sometimes, dark and scary. There were days when I thought I’d never be able to make it to the next landing. I was focused on where I was going and where I wanted to be and not taking the time or spending the energy on the step I was on, and focusing on the moment. I tried skipping steps, jumping from…

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